I heard many inspiring stores from various people over the last few days. Of all the messages that came to me, the biggest lesson tonight seems to be the importance of the simple thought “I exist, and I know that you recognize that I exist.”
I focused my thoughts today on what I sense from the people that I have been meeting in Palestine. This awareness is the simple importance of being recognized as a human being. That’s all! A simple nod to acknowledge someone’s presence; a thank you spoken, particularly in the native tongue; a friend opening a door for someone else; a touch of affection in a public place; listening intently without distraction; repeating accurately what another says; fulfilling a request of a loved one – these are all means to demonstrate that “the other” exists. You can see the results of these simple gestures on the faces of people.
I have heard in several recent workshops that people are feeling marginalized in their current situations of life. When people feel marginalized, they speak louder, or repeat themselves, or do protests. Just a simple genuine gesture makes all the difference in the world. When people get frustrated, irritated, resentful, or impatient with listening and connecting with another, it’s because they often know what needs to be done; and that is to do things “my way.” Different responses make all the difference in the world in terms of gaining common understanding and commitment; or rejection and disharmony. A simple gesture, a few seconds or minutes more… can change the world.
When we discriminate with people, where some are the privileged and others are excluded, the message really is that you don’t exist. As I walk through Palestine, I hear the cry of acknowledgement that “I exist, and I want to be recognized by you.” I see the cost of not recognizing basic human rights. The irony is that that at one time, “the other” didn’t exist, and has countered by becoming that one that denies existence. Just this year, I have seen this marginalization on North American Indian reservations, in Hawaii, in the Deep South, in cultures where women are marginalized, with the loggers on the Olympic Peninsula, in the halls of academy, and now here.
I understand the importance of this basic human need, as I have personally experienced non-existence. As a child, there were many times that my desires and wants were put off by others. It didn’t matter if I was cold, or my eyes hurt from chlorine, I wanted to play, or couldn’t sleep at night because I was terrified of stories “the church” told me. It was “the other” that only mattered. Today, in my own life’s journey, experiencing the place of “I exist, and I want to be recognized by you” really speaks home to me. I do the consensus building work that I do today, with the emphasis on providing the space for the unheard one to speak, is very important to me.
And it matters! I see it in their faces. I see it in the outcomes. People tell me thank you.
